Monday, August 31, 2009

Circus Act

It's becoming clearer and clearer to me why drinking is a favorite pastime of so many in the legal profession. I've watched other people go through this sort of stress, but I don't think I've ever really felt it myself. It's not that things are going poorly or that you doubt yourself or that your problems are insurmountable, it's that there are unexpected moments where it feels as though the sky is falling. It would not feel this way if you were not such a perfectionist, however, if you were less type A, you wouldn't here at all. Everything you take on is an obligation, and every obligation must be met in a timely manner.

Law school (at least at week 3 of year 1) is a tightrope act, and every time you master balancing one thing someone throws another variable in the mix. Friday afternoon you go home feeling relatively good about yourself. You've learned how to walk back and forth on a half inch wire 300 ft in the air. Monday morning someone says, "great, now cross that same tightrope on this bicycle,". Reasonably you know that you have time and no one expects you to have it all figured out right that second, but when you're up that high, everyone is watching, and it never slips your mind how far you have to fall.

For me, Monday is the worst. I have more classes Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday, and less free time, but for me, Monday is the day I put on my biggest show smile while thinking, "don't look down, don't look down, you really can do this."

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