Going forward it may be useful to know that I am socially inept. I wouldn't exactly describe myself as shy, because I have little to no fear of talking to people and certainly no problem saying what's on my mind. The problem is more that I find social interaction exhausting. I wish this wasn't the case because I like to make friends, however I can handle one person I'm not well acquainted with and two or three that I am well acquainted with at any given time. If you add alcohol to this equation you may be able to add one or two to those calculations. I enjoy making friends, but feel as though I can't make friends in large groups. I'm told that other people don't find the need to personally connect with people they meet. I do not understand this at all, and no matter how I've tried, I have not been able to make myself overcome my dislike for larger groups.
This is all a problem because I feel as though I should make some effort to be socially involved at law school. I'm in rooms full of people throughout the week who have great ideas and offer interesting discussion points. I love going to class. I would like to make friends with these people. I feel obligated to join a student organization (at least one). Unfortunately, the prospect of going through room after room of people who I don't know is intimidating and generally unappealing. I am torn between my desire to try to make friends, and the method by which I'm supposed to go about making them.
I don't think this is a normal problem and I don't think other people in my class are worried about this. They're worried about whether they understand our Torts assignment. I'm worried about making friends. I have always understood school, or at least figured it out in my own dear, sweet, time. Individuals I get. I find people incredibly interesting. Groups confuse me. I feel disconnected from others in groups and would generally rather be at home blow drying my hair then stuck in a room with people I don't know.
I hope I find a group interesting enough to really give social interaction a try. If the topic is interesting enough I'm sure I can at least invest myself in that.
The reading assignments with so many new words that I have to look a new word up three times a page then re-read it twice, are not half as intimidating as the prospect of trying to make new friends. Maybe if I make everyone cupcakes? Hey, it works in elementary school.